Here is a bright light into the future. Phin Lyman is a Christian and a student at Wellington College in England. And, he recently set off international fireworks for the simple reason that he wants his first sexual experience to be with his wife.
OMG! How archaic! Or is it, considering the fact that radical, second-wave feminist’s “sexual revolution” is now nearly 50 years old, actually revolutionary!
Here’s a young man who is not interested in playing-the-field, hooking-up or sowing-his-wild-oats. Phin does not want to open his Christmas presents before Christmas morning nor does he want put the cart before the horse. He doesn’t want his first experience with sexual intercourse to be meaningless and he certainly doesn’t want it to occur for all the wrong reasons. He understands the value it brings to a young husband and wife’s relationships and that his commitment to abstinence, before marriage, will also generate life long benefits to his marriage.
Sexual intercourse is intended by God as a bond between a husband and wife who want children of their own, not a joy ride, a sport or a brief encounter to be forgotten the next day. It is, and always has been, the most intimate gift a young married couple can give to each other and from it flows all good – children, stability, commitment, happiness, trust and of course, love.
When this first, singular and precious experience is frittered away (typically during a drunken binge) with “whoever”, it will, if the young woman is honest with herself, produce a sense of loss, rather than the intended sense of joy. It will be an experience filled with regret rather than a celebration of love and life. And, young Phin Lyman is correct, when he says that your virginity can only be given away once and why shouldn’t it be given, as an expression of love and commitment, to the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life? Someone you love and respect , and who loves and respects you in return.
When that first encounter is squandered on “whoever”, it can never to be retrieved for your future spouse. And the sad truth is that most formerly promiscuous young women come to regret their sexual escapades so severely, that they spend their entire married lives denying them to their husbands. Why deliberately subject yourself to that kind of stress?
So, why start your married life by living a lie? Despite the rants of the radical, second and third-wave feminists, having sex with dozens of meaningless, uncommitted guys does NOT improve your life. In fact, it does the exact opposite! Random sex and hooking-up are for self-loathing, psycho-bitches who consider themselves doormats. And this is because without commitment, trust and true love, sex is just another bodily function.
Sex is best with a guy who sincerely loves you. It seems SO obvious and yet millions of brainwashed, teenage feminists just don’t get it, until it’s too late. How much more obvious is it, that you should want, at the very least, to have your first sexual encounter with someone who is committed to your well-being and to your future, not to your drunken availability? How could any woman, in her right mind, think that this scenario could improve her chances for true love and happiness? What are the chances for a life-long commitment to each other, and a solid marriage, when it begins in this manner? Correct. ZERO.
So, although young Phin said he’d been tempted many times, while in high school, to go upstairs with a drunken girl at a party, he resisted those temptations in deference to his future wife, whoever she may be. He says,
“When talking to a friend of mine recently, he remarked “but would you buy a car without test driving it?” My first reaction was to laugh but then I was suddenly taken aback by the pure bluntness of his attitude to sex. Basically what he was saying that the only thing relationships are good for is for sex. A car’s function is to drive, therefore a relationship is there for only for sexual pleasure. This car analogy, however, has huge pitfalls. I mean, if I was to carry on with this car analogy, I’d much rather my partner were a shiny new Ferrari than a fourth hand, slightly worn out Volvo … You get the picture.”
Phin also said that, despite the urban legends, there are more 18 year olds who have deliberately decided against pre-marital sex than young people lead each other to believe. He went on to say,
“I believe that sex is an incredibly strong symbol of love between two people. Think of it as a glue. Once you have had sex with someone, you’re connected to them emotionally and physically. If you tear that bond the rip leaves open scars where the glue once was. That’s why “casual sex” never works in the long-term, it just doesn’t.”
This is another example of the ongoing battle between radical feminism ideology vs. the tenets of Christianity, of radical feminists vs. Christian men. Only this time, unlike most Christian men, this young man has entered the battle field fully prepared to do battle.
I pray that young people, especially teenage girls, are finally learning that self-destruction comes in many forms and they’re not all based on drug abuse. One of the most insidious destroyers of female self-respect occurs when young women unwittingly ingest the dehumanizing behavior associated with living a radical, third-wave feminist life.
I pray that Phin Lyman will give voice to the truth about the personal importance of remaining a virgin. And I hope that more and more young women will finally realized that replacing the tenets of their Christian faith with the ideology of radical, second and third-wave feminism will end badly and will certainly NEVER get them a Good Guy like Phin Lyman.
I wish young Mr. Lyman all of the luck in the world because he deserves it and I hope that someday soon he will find the girl of his dreams because when he does, she will be a very lucky girl indeed.