If you had to make a list of the most important people in your life, who would be at the top of your list? If you have children, I can almost guarantee you that they would be #1. And, if this is the case, you can also probably make a list of the times you have wounded your children’s heart as well.
Now, ask yourself if the wounds you inflicted on your children were justified. Did you have a legitimate “excuse” for each and every one of those instances? Were they unavoidable? Did they revolve around an emergency? Did you do all you could do to avoid them? Did you consider your children’s trust, love and faith in you, first? Now, do the excuses truly reflect just how important your children are to you or, do they expose just how unimportant they are to you at times?
If your answer makes you cringe, there’s guilt, but where there’s guilt, there’s also hope for renewal. If you find that the wounds inflicted were just plain inexcusable, it’s time to consciously re-address your behavior. It’s important to acknowledge the truth about any situation which chronically results in crushed little hearts.
In order to find out if there is a pattern brewing below the surface, another list is required. Who, or what, are you allowing to get between you and your children’s love? Upon review, does the list include wounds you’ve inflicted on your children because of anger, stress, work, addiction, divorce, girlfriends or boyfriends? If the answer to any of these scenarios is yes, your priorities DO NOT reflect the fact that you say that your children are #1 in your life.
Screaming derogatory remarks at your kids is worse for their ego than smacking their behinds. Most times, when mother’s scream at their kids, it is for nothing more than normal childhood antics. But because mother is stressed and exhausted from work, her fuse is short and she soon explodes. This is so unfair to your innocent children. They only know what you tell them and to verbally abuse them in anger is beyond hurtful to little kids who are just trying to define themselves in the world. Continuing to berate your kids like this and they lose heart, lose their confidence and finally lose their natural attachment to you. They will begin to cringe, and withdraw, every time you come near rather than fall lovingly into your arms. These “mothers” should be pitied and pilloried.
If you must work because your are a “single mother” with illegitimate children, I have great sympathy for your innocent children and absolutely NONE for you. Your stupidity is a public outrage. And, whether you believe it or not, your self-inflicted situation is on public display for all to see, and yes, to judge. Your irresponsible behavior is not overlooked just because you have a child. In fact, the opposite is true, your base behavior is magnified by 10 because you have a child. You will, every day of your life, wound your child because you deliberately left him without his father. You will doubly wound your child while you too are away, toiling at a pointless, minimum wage job, never finding a secure future for either yourself or your child. For this, you should be publicly rebuked.
Other women have wounded their children’s hearts by leaving their infants and toddlers too often with babysitters and care givers, returning after too many glasses of wine with girlfriends. Children wear their emotions on their face and every time a mother leaves her infant or toddler with others, the fear and sadness is written all over their innocent faces. If you think your children are incapable of suffering from heartache, think again. Mother’s should never ignore those signals. Remember, in no time, your toddler will be a teen and those innocent, needy, looks will be gone forever.
Women who have high-powered “careers” and have children whom they immediately leave with daycare or nanny soon after their births are a pathetic excuse for motherhood. Trying to have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too may look good on paper but these mothers, like Fox News Megan Kelly, who has a 1, 2, and 3 year-old but continues to work, are just denying themselves and their children the bonding and caring relationship God intended. They should be condemned for choosing their “career” over their innocent children. Despite what radical, feminism has told women, children need their mothers more than anything else in their lives. These children may be provided with all of the material goods they need as a result of their mother’s “important career” but the children do not care one bit, all they know is that their mother’s have abandoned them. All they rightly want in their little lives, is their mother. These selfish women deliberately ignore their maternal instincts, and all of the signals given by their young children. They deliberately wound the innocent children they brought into the world for their own self-aggrandizement. Sick. Do everyone a favor and don’t have kids if you want a “career.”
Women with minor children who divorce and return to the dating scene are doubly wounding their innocent children every time they walk out the door with a new man. The children have been denied the presence and protection of their fathers, which is hard enough for little children to cope with, and understand, but more importantly, by dating other men you lower the natural esteem that children have for their mothers, to nearly zero. Parents are children’s idols. They look to them for guidance, assurance, advice, security, love, protection, reliability and stability. Divorced women who date other men destroy their relationship with their children because most children can not comprehend divorce. They miss their Dad and dating other men, just rubs salt in their open wounds.
Have you verbally abused your children in anger brought on by financial, family or career pressures? If so, I’ll bet you are probably living alone, minus the husband whom God created to do the worrying for you and your kids. Again, I have no sympathy for you and no time for your pathetic excuses. Any woman who divorces with minor children; has illegitimate children; or, as a single woman, adopts children, is a selfish, ignorant fool, who is only thinking of herself, and never the innocent children for whom she will be responsible. If you justify your decision by saying, “Oh, they will adjust.” You are a bigger fool then most. Children DO NOT adjust to living without their father. They silently suffer and quietly cope, but they DO NOT joyfully thrive. As a result of divorce, many suffer with life-long social and psychological problems.
If you are living with your “boyfriend” and your children, you are not only wounding your children’s hearts every day but may very well be are putting your innocent children in jeopardy. Live-in “boyfriends” are notoriously jealous of former husbands or lovers. And in many cases, when they can’t take that anger out on the other men, they often seek revenge on those men’s children. This situation often results, not only in terror for the little children but, more often than we’d like to admit, it results in the permanent injuries and even the death of those very innocent children. If this is your “living arrangement” you are more than wounding your children’s hearts you are deliberately endangering your children’s lives and your behavior is despicable. Move OUT!
If you are a drug addict, an alcoholic, or a gambler, and have minor children living with you, you are reprehensible. You are not just chronically wounding your innocent children, you are destroying their future. You are destroying their ability to develop normally and you are, more than likely, condemning them to a life of addiction as well. Your life is unconscionable and your children will suffer tremendously as a result of your deplorable choices.
Incredibly, there are today, in this godless, secular, free-for-all culture called America, porn stars and strippers who have minor children. These women are below contempt! How do their innocent children ever free themselves from their mother’s vile reputation? The answer is, they don’t. These poor children will remain crippled for their entire lives.
Now, granted most of these scenarios are extremes but, I write this to remind all childless young women, especially young high school women, to consider what’s best for their future children while they make decisions for themselves today. Making one, stupid, drunken mistake could mean the difference between a lifetime of happiness with your precious children and a lifetime, right out of hell, for both of you.