Once again, we can thank radical, second-wave feminism for instituting another counter-intuitive social behavior that has proven to be contaminated with falsehoods.
Throughout history, Dads were never allowed to be in the room when their wives were delivering their children. For most men, the devotion and love that they had for their wives made the painful delivery of a baby too emotionally draining for them to witness. They, in many cases, felt responsible for putting their wives through, what appeared to be, a near-death experience .
It was determined, through centuries of experience, that the young fathers-to-be, many of whom fainted, vomited or cried during the delivery process, were much better off waiting elsewhere, until their baby was born. Besides the pain their wives suffered, there was another worry that prayed on the young men’s mind. Up until the 20th century, dying during child-birth was the number one cause of death for young women. Many men not only lost their wives but their newborn children as well. The experience was a dread-filled experience for the young men who waited.
As a result, it was decided ages ago, that everyone was better off when the young fathers waited for the birth of their child, away from the mother, and preferably with other fathers. It was determined, for many good reasons, that childbirth was a purely female activity that included sisters, mothers, other female relatives and in some cases midwives, but never the fathers-to-be.
It wasn’t until the 19th century that medicine advanced to the point that a woman delivering a child, was attended to by a male doctor. But even then, the fathers were not included in the process. Most anxious fathers-to-be aimlessly paced around their houses while praying that the ordeal would come to a happy ending.
During the 20th century, when women began to routinely have their babies in a hospital, most men paced around the “Waiting Room” instead of their homes. In some cases, the worried husbands resorted to sitting in a local bar during the ordeal. But again, they were not invited to join their wives in the delivery because their physical and emotional reactions to their wives experiences caused the mothers-to-be, and the attending women, additional and unnecessary stress. The young fathers-to-be were a distraction and of little, or no, help.
This all changed during the, surprise, early 1970s. At the behest of radical, second-wave feminists, the push to include the fathers in the delivery process was begun. This high-handed decision was made by non-Christian women with little interest in the practicality of their demands and who were more interested in the political aspects of their twisted agenda than the outcome for their young adherents.
At the time, I was one of the first to encourage my husband to join me in the delivery room in 1974. Luckily, Saint Mary’s Hospital in Minnesota was not very receptive to the idea. My husband, on occasions, was permitted to glance through the delivery room door, but nothing else. I say “luckily”, because I would have had only one child if St. Mary’s had let him into the delivery room. As it was, three years later, when our daughter was born in Illinois, the Du Page County Hospital was very receptive to fathers in the delivery room. And so, my husband was with me the entire time. It wasn’t until 30 years later that he told me that the experience was so terrifying (he was sure I was going to die) that he was determined never to put me through it again. And so, he did what he felt he had to, and as a result, we only had two children.
Some may say that this was an unintended consequence of radical feminism’s short-sighted push to eliminate sexism and stem inequality between the sexes. “Men and women are the same, equal and the same.” I say, it was a deliberate effort to make men look weak, in the eyes of their women. There is no practical reason for men to be in the delivery room. By the time the hard labor starts and the delivery of the baby is eminent, the wives are way past caring if their husbands are in the room. The young men can do nothing for their wives at that point, other than to try not to faint.
Ladies, give them a break! Ask them if they sincerely want to watch you agonize through the delivery of your baby. And if you suspect that they don’t – don’t shame them, prod them or tease them about their decision. Remember, they love you. And by nature, they want to protect you from pain. The fact is, that they cannot help you deliver your baby painlessly, so why put them through what could be a life-changing experience, unnecessarily? So he can hold your hand for 20 hours? Don’t do it. Let him remember the joy, and not the pain, just the same as you will. And remember too that we live in the modern age of medicine, it will not be the last time you see him, nor should you take the opposite stance and feel that the pregnancy was half his “fault” and therefore he should suffer along with you. That’s just vicious and cruel.
Until recently, giving birth was considered women’s work and a “blessed event.” It’s time to once again realise that some things are better left to tradition.
Dads, go have a drink and then give out cigars when your blessed child arrives.
THE END It’s the Women, Not The Men!
I hesitated to comment, having had no children of my own, however, on this I must disagree. My close observation of our generations’ families, years of therapy in an attempt to understand my Fathers’ emotional absense in my childhood, and my inability to understand the side-burner role Father’s held in our generation, lead me to believe that Father’s that witness the birth of their children have a much greater emotional, personal interest in their children’s lives. I have many very close relationships with friends and siblings families, and the difference in the relationships the Father’s have with their children is amazing and wonderful, and they all had more children after the initial experience!
You were blessed with a Father who was way ahead of his time and instinctively loving and involved. The great majority of our generation was not so blessed, Hence the creation of radical feminism! I cannot disagree that the intended ideals of feminism have been radically distorted and become obscene, yet if we dig for the truth, there has been a few positive growths for both the men and the women as a result.
I, just recently, had two personal experiences with young fathers who suffered physical duress while going through the delivery process. My intent was to give them permission to refrain from attending, if they so chose, without being pressured by some ridiculous, radical and shallow ideology.
Sallie, my belief is that good fatherhood is a function of faithfully adopting a Christian lifestyle, including resisting the temptations of alcohol, drugs, gambling, illicit sex or committing any form of abuse on others, especially children. A truly Christian father is taught to be unselfish and to make a commitment to the sacrament of marriage; to become the spiritual leader of his family; to love and respect his wife as a reflection of the Blessed Mother, and to finally, take full responsibility for setting a “good example”, in his daily life, for the benefit of his young children. Radical feminism has told women that fathers are unnecessary louts. This is a diabolical and destructive lie, especially with regard to a man’s children. Christian fathers have always provided so much more for their families than just financial support. They are the glue that holds the family together.
Until recently, all of this was part of a Christian man’s most profound commitment to his family when he chose to marry and none of it had anything to do with being in the delivery room when his children were born because they never were before feminism came on the scene.
Delivery Dad’s is just another superficial way for radical feminism to try and elevate unimportant things to some level of critical mass and it is another shallow example of why their ideology precludes people, who adopt their lifestyle, from finding true happiness. It deliberately misses the point, denying those who embrace it’s empty, loveless ideology, the joy in life only available through the personal constraints and restraints provided by the rational and fundamental precepts of Christian living. Nothing else can substitute for a life enveloped in Christianity. Nothing else can provide the family with the proven and enduring support it deserves, at its very core, other than by adopting a Christian lifestyle.
Standing in the delivery room will never replace the Christian devotion to his family that a father,and husband, must have FIRST, in order for his marriage to be a success and his example, as a father, to be taken seriously by his children, as they develop under his moral and ethical guidance.