“The mission of The Christophers is to encourage people of all ages, and from all walks of life, to use their God-given talents to make a positive difference in the world. The mission is best expressed in The Christophers’ motto: “It’s better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.”
Ten times a year they publish the Christophers News Notes. The title of their recent publication was, “Hope for Troubled Marriages.” Among the information they included was a list of 7 ways to save your marriage.
Ten Ways to Save Your Marriage
1. Communicate: The number one reason that marriages fail is poor communication. Good communication means listening as well as talking. It must also be open, honest and frequent. You should not only talk daily, but also laugh and cry, share family joys, accomplishments, struggles and sorrows.
2. Fight Fair: Don’t try to “win” arguments. Allow your spouse to maintain self-respect. State the issue honestly. Grant equal time. Don’t complain, say, about the burnt meatloaf, when the real issue is excessive spending. Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
3. Forgive: Stop holding grudges. Forgiveness is a challenge, but it can lead to peace, hope, gratitude and joy. It can also lower your blood pressure and risk of alcohol or substance abuse.
4. Rebuild Trust: Trust takes years to build up, but can be damaged in an instant. Being honest. Keeping your promises is the best way to reestablish trust with your spouse. Practice respect, while supporting one another’s goals.
5. Decide Together: Make joint decisions about finances, disciplining children, chores, vacations and other important family matters.
6. Work on Building Intimacy: Schedule regular dates and romantic getaways. Don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries.
7. Don’t Try to Change Your Mate: Appreciate and respect your spouse’s personality, likes and dislikes, and personal history.
8. Don’t Be A Grouch or a Bitch: Smile and be polite to each other, even when you don’t feel like it. Surprisingly, the effort will chase away the grouchiness or bitchiness.
9. Decide – Motherhood or Career: It is nearly impossible to concentrate on a full-time career and raise minor children properly. Choose one or the other, not both. Your marriage will be stronger for it.
10. Kiss Hello and Kiss Goodbye: This simple ritual will do more for your marriage than you will ever realize.
11. Pray for Each Other: This is probably the most important thing you can do for your marriage and for each other.