Short Essay – Do You Routinely Pet Your Children or Do You SNAP and GRAB Them Instead?

There is so much stress, and frustration, involved in daily living today that millions of people are on the verge of snapping.

Unfortunately, this is especially true for women.

Radical, second-wave feminism’s promotion of “career”, over family, has left women with NO time to truly enjoy their lives.

They don’t have ample time to relax, sleep or regenerate. They don’t even have a few minutes to truly enjoy what little time they have with their children!

These “career-oriented” feminists are constantly on the go, while trying to satisfy the demands of both full-time work and full-time family. They are literally “burning the candle at both ends”, which will only lead to ashes.

working mother exhausted 4Since so many radical, feminist “career” women are still striving to attain the unattainable feminist utopia of, successful career and happy family, they are in a continual, frustrating and stressful battle with themselves to accomplish everything that is demanded of them.

It’s time to STOP, and get OFF the treadmill, because this preposterous feminist “ideal” of “Superwoman” is a stress-inducing illusion and you will kill yourself trying to realize the unachievable.

Cosmo - Having it all - Gurley Browns bookRadical, second-wave feminism lied to you. Substituting the ideology of feminism for the tenets of your Christian faith will NOT improve your life because “Having it all” is an unrealistic and debilitating goal.

And, there is no shame in this, because most of the jobs available to young mothers will NEVER be as important to them as will their husband, children and home.

Contributing to your home, from your home, is truly the ideal for which these young women should strive.

And besides, God NEVER intended for the mothers of young children to be the bread-winner of the family, because they are rightfully preoccupied with their children’s constant needs.

That’s why God created FATHERS. It’s the father’s JOB, not yours, to financially support his family! If you had a few minutes left, in your hectic day, to give your untenable situation some serious thought, you would agree!

This is the main reason that pursuing a successful career was ALWAYS the responsibility of the father of the family. It requires full-time, unadulterated, focused, concentration at work and serious down-time at home. When both parents work outside the home, neither of these are achieved.

working mothers with kids 4Acquiring a successful career cannot be attained by a distracted, compromised, preoccupied and guilt-ridden mother because it causes them to snap!

Christian men have always understood this predicament and have always, until very recently, insisted that their wives remain home to care for their children, while they tirelessly toiled, outside the home, in their chosen field of employment.

Unfortunately, after 50 years of anti-Christian feminist indoctrination, the feminist “career” women are only now learning this truth, and they are learning it the hard way.

home sweet homeHome was designed by Christian women to provide family members with reinvigorating rest and they excelled in this effort to create a relaxing atmosphere conducive to relaxation.

This peaceful home environment permitted their husbands and children to recharge, and renew themselves, for the next day’s academic challenges and job related onslaught.

Sadly, when so many misguided young feminists left their homes in pursuit of “career”, they took that restorative environment with them. And why is this? because there isn’t anyone who can provide a rewarding home environment for themselves, or for their families, other than the women themselves.

working mother with kidsIf the God’s honest truth be told, a recuperative home environment is totally unattainable without ample time to provide for it, and not surprisingly, that is exactly what working a 40 hour work week steals from working women – ample time.

And to make matters worse, the stressed “career” mothers, unwittingly, replaced this nurturing environment with one filled with their own stress.

And sadly, since radical, second-wave feminism has been pushing women, out the door of their homes in pursuit of “careers” for more than 50 years, many young working mothers are unaware of how much their home life would improve if they were home full-time.

Many of these women were brought up by radical, second-wave feminists, who chose to deplete their Christian home life, while pursuing their “career”, leaving their daughters with no other examples of family life to emulate.

And so, in these young, misguided, “career” women’s desperate attempts to try to sustain this “ideal” feminist balancing act, of work and home life, their “snapping sign of stress” is unfortunately routinely directed at their “uncooperative” children and their “inconvenient” husbands, because snapping at bosses, co-workers or clients is seriously frowned upon at work.

sad neglected little girlMothers are, by nature, the person who is most “in-tuned” to their children, and as such, they set the tone of behavior towards their children, from which their husband takes his cue.

Unfortunately for many innocent children, if snapping is the stressed mother’s spontaneous reaction to her kid’s, naturally rambunctious, behavior, the father will react in the same manner, only with more forcefulness.

So, this work-related stress, expressed by stressed-out mothers, in a stress-filled home environment, inevitably results in stressed children as well.

bad little kidsAnd what do stressed kids usually do? They act-out, causing a cascading decline in affectionate behavior among all of the family members, but especially by the mothers.

Without a calm, stress-free mother to relieve, and offset, all of the job-related problems of their husbands, and the natural antics of their children, the stress level continues to rise, until she explodes!

At this point, many frustrated mothers GRAB their “misbehaving” kids by the arm in an effort to remove them from the situation, resolve the tension and punish them for their perceived offenses.

angry momIn time, this becomes an everyday occurrence, until finally, the young kids begin to associate their mother’s painful GRIP, with their mother herself.

The kids stop associating their mother’s touch with love, and instead associate it with anger/hate, thereby destroying the youngster’s confidence that they are good kids and worthy of being loved by their mother. This goes for the fathers as well.

angry mom 2This lack of trust, and this chronic experience of fear, will haunt these small children for the rest of their lives. And, it will interfere with their ability to find success and happiness in their lives.

But more importantly, the girls will likely seek out men who will physically, or verbally, hurt them, just as did their father. And the boys will find it difficult to establish a relationship with a girl, due to his unaffectionate mother’s behavior.

This is why it’s SO important for mothers, and fathers, to handle their young children with a light touch! If you want your children to pay attention to what you are saying, and to know that you love them, they must always be treated with Christian patience, kindness, consideration and thoughtfulness, despite their antics, or your burdens.

Remember, kids need lots of explaining when you want them to do, what you want them to do.

Women are very good at talk, talk, talking, and explaining things to their kids, but this process can’t be rushed. It’s been proven that it takes kids a while to internalize your explanation, and then, shift gears to please you.

Being rushed in your explanation, because you are stressed, NEVER works to improve the situation. And most dads can’t help here either, as they are NOT very good at this “explaining” process at all. Mainly because, by nature, they want their commands obeyed immediately, which most kids cannot do!

mom and daughter cleansKids WANT to love, respect and obey their parents, which means they want to help you too.

They want to help in any little way they can, but this won’t happen if they are afraid to go near you.

On the other hand, when they know you love them, through your loving, light touch, they will want to cooperate because they will respond to you with the same love you’ve shown them.

So, quitting your job to stay home, and “feather-your-nest”, will go along way towards calming your family’s home life. But, “petting” your little, and not so little, kids daily, will go even farther.

Lightly touch your kids for no reason at all, but that you LOVE them!

Make a concerted effort to “pet” your kids every time you walk by them. Tousle their hair; stroke their hands; chuck them under the chin; pat their head; touch their shoulder; tweak their nose or cup their cheeks to give them a kiss on the forehead.

Each and every spontaneous demonstration of your love for your child will go a long way towards creating a peaceful home with happy, loving, cooperative kids.

mother and daughter affectionPet your kids often. You will be amazed at how wonderful it makes you both feel.

 

20 thoughts on “Short Essay – Do You Routinely Pet Your Children or Do You SNAP and GRAB Them Instead?

    • It’s a very sad commentary on today’s “career-oriented” mothers that articles have to be written to define and encourage “quality time” with THEIR children! Something is desperately wrong with this picture! Mothers should never be SO preoccupied with their “careers” that it interferes with their developing relationships with their minor children! “Career” should ALWAYS take second place for any young women who wants children. They should do as all Christian women of my Mother’s generation did in the 1950s. Once married and their first child was born, they all left their jobs behind in order to raise their children themselves. In fact, this was also a matter of HONOR for the fathers as well. They considered themselves a FAILURE, as the breadwinner, if their wives were NOT financially able to stay home to care for their children.

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      • What do you think about issues of working mothers in Indonesia written in this article which it’s tone supports state sponsored daycare, and other benefits such as increased maternity leave which they said will motivate those mothers to work harder and in return stimulate the economy?

        Yes, my concern is the author of this article is an extremist and I had seen her facebook account which stated her identification as a queer. In positive side I think Indonesians in general still respecting stay at home mum.

        https://coconuts.co/jakarta/features/become-mom-keep-career-indonesian-women-explain-nearly-impossible/

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      • Anyone who advocates placing children in state sponsored daycare is a Marxist! These people want to brainwash the children to abandon their family commitments in favor of the state. I can’t think of a more dastardly betrayal of children, parents and families in general than anti-Christian, non-Christian Marxist’s ultimate goal is to steal other people’s children from their Christian parents, and more devastatingly, from God! The proven result of implementing Marxism within a country is societal chaos, cultural annihilation and the destruction of the foundation of Christian civilization – the family. To your other point, lesbians HATE happy Christian families and children because their joyful existence rubs salt into the homosexual’s emotional wounds. Wounds which were inflicted on them as youngsters. Innocent youngsters who were victimized by their own dysfunctional “family” members. Their recommendations should NEVER be made public policy or adopted as a way of life by young people, especially young women because it reaps hell on earth.

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  1. Being a Christian and a feminist actually mixes quite well. Yes, we have second-wave feminism that was radical, but it had to be. We can be radical in this day, and that’s great but most of us are accidental feminists (thanks to our second-wave mothers). We expect the equality, as we should (most of us would be considered third-wave….I’ve even heard fourth-wave). I don’t want to protest things like I should be out of the kitchen because each woman has a choice. Kitchen, workplace, whatever, it may be. That’s what feminism is essentially about; a woman makes a choice and gets to live with her choice (not decided for her by her gender/traditional gender roles). Also more importantly than that, the same can be said about Christianity. There are Christians who protest funerals of dead soldiers. People wonder how anyone would want to be associated with Christianity. But that’s a small group (usually doing something radical for better or worse) and it can’t be used for judging the whole group. And just like one Christian may say consuming alcohol is a sin and another Christian may disagree. Feminists don’t claim to all get along. (See Betty Freidan and Gloria Steinem for example.) More importantly, we should be grateful rather than critical. If your car broke down, and atheist helped you, they aren’t helping because they are trying to bring God glory. But good came from it. They felt good and you got a the ride to where you needed to be. We have many freedoms/rights/thoughts heard now because of radical feminism. Is feminism something you prescribe to? No, but good things have come from it. If this is unclear, please let me know, I’d love to explain further or make myself clear.

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    • I see NO advantages, in adopting a radical, feminist lifestyle, for women. Adopting a second-wave feminist lifestyle was bad enough, but adopting a third-wave feminist lifestyle is just this side of insanity. Please read my posts called, “Current EVEntS” to see the resultant destruction and “First vs. Second vs. Third-Wave Feminism”, but especially read the “Current EVEntS” posts about Jillian Tate, Marissa Devault, Jodi Arias and Erin Corwin. Feminism is nothing more than a charade created by dysfunctional women who simply wanted the remainder of women to reflect their same unhappy personal lives. Please read my post, “Why Did the Founders of Radical, Second-Wave Feminism Hate Men?” The radical, second-wave feminist freedoms/rights/thoughts you mention were trumped up issues used by these miserable, difficult, non-Christian women, who sought nothing more than to disrupt Christian society. To your other point, women were never denied the opportunity to work, write, paint, etc. for a living. It was simply that most Christian women preferred to put their time, talent and hearts towards the betterment of their families, which is sadly missing today within today’s feminists. And, with regards to your assessment of the need for “equality” between the sexes, that is another hoax promulgated by radical feminism’s twisted ideology. It is just another effort to disrupt our successful Christian Western Civilization, as their efforts have absolutely nothing to do with seeking “equality” for women and everything to do with seeking inequality for men. Please read my post, “Longform Essay – Why Does the False Pretext of “Equality” Diminish Rather Than Increase the Value of Women?”
      With regards to your comment about the atheist, I am not saying that people are not capable of doing what’s right, despite their not being a Christian. My point is that those people behave the way they do because they were raised in a highly Christian country. Those standards of Christian behavior have a wide spread effect for good on our citizenry, even the conflicted, just as Islam has the same effect on its citizenry, for evil. Feminism’s main motivation is to convince young Christian women that their faith is holding them back, when in fact, it has done nothing more, for centuries, than protect women from the very evil feminism has unleashed in women’s lives – abortion, divorce, illegitimacy, promiscuity, single motherhood, explicit sexuality and loneliness. Please read my post, “Longform Essay – How Did “Patriarchy” Become a Dirty Word?”
      So, again, I can find NO advantages, and hundreds of disadvantages, to adopting a lifestyle defined by ANY aspects of radical feminism, as compared to the joy which is attainable by remaining a good Christian woman.

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      • The atheist example was an example of what good can come from something you may not agree with. It was just an example. I’m sure there are many to choose from. However, from your last comment, you asked what my reasoning was. It seems you either took my belief system as an attack or argument as your response is the listed above as opposed to just saying, “Okay, I appreciate your reply/explanation.” As you and I are not going to convince one another either way, I wasn’t looking for an argument or more insight into your other opinion pieces. I was merely responding. I appreciate your enthusiasm for what you believe is right. If you want to debate, I’m sure we could discuss or argue all day, but the comments section of a blog isn’t the place to do it. (If you read back, I’m not asking or implying you argue with me at all but rather asking for clarification on your opinion piece.) You are free to email me if you wanted to discuss further. Again your enthusiasm is appreciated, but your timing is the issue.

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      • I appreciate your commentary as well and I hope you will take the time to continue to read the posts I suggested. And, no, I am not looking to start an argument either, just inform. I live in Jersey and that’s just the way we talk. Believe me, if I was looking to start an argument, you’d know it. 🙂 Good luck and God bless your life’s journey of discovery.

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    • You’ll have to excuse my bluntness. Like most men I don’t have a lot of patience with nuance.

      A Christian feminist is an oxymoron. Nothing but pure evil has ever come from feminism. Feminism is the stuff of sexual promiscuity, sexual depravity and infanticide. Feminism has destroyed the institutions of marriage and family. Feminism is infidelity and divorce. Feminism is heretical, Marxist filth. Feminism adds nothing whatsoever to the work of Christ. Your blather is blasphemous and rebellious.

      You are not my equal in authority, woman!

      Your so-called equality is the subjugation of men by the state to whom feminists whore themselves out. The rights you go on about are extra-constitutional privileges that are not afforded men, violate the natural rights of men, redistribute wealth, neglect the educational needs of boys and young men, and undermine the natural role of men. They are the stuff of theft and oppression. But you don’t understand why that’s true because your mind is not submitted to the imperatives of logic, natural law, morality and liberty.

      You’re stuck on the stupid of socialism. Feminism is a house of cards. It’s foundation is the governmental suppression of the natural flow of these imperatives . . . and the result is creeping tyranny.

      God is not mocked. You sow what you reap. To obey these imperatives is to prosper. To defy them is to decline and fall. You don’t even see what’s coming at us! You’re crying peace, peace . . . and progress, as the foundations of Western civilization are crumbling.

      Feminist Eve is destroying the civilization that Adam built for Her and His Children. Adam will eventually have to grab Feminist Eve by her hair and drag her back to sanity, though I think we are in the end times, and it will be Christ, the second Adam, who will restore order by the sword.

      “Men are qualified for liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites—in proportion as their love of justice is above their rapacity, in proportion as their soundness and sobriety and understanding is above their vanity and presumption, in proportion as they are more disposed to listen to the counsels of the wise and good, in preference to the flattery of knaves. Society cannot exist, unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere; and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters” (Edmund Burke).

      Edmund Burke knew his Bible and the realities of human nature. He understood the realities of natural law. These imperatives are woven into the very fabric of the creation . . . just like the laws of physics.

      Men by nature bear the greater burden of responsibility in civilization and in Christ. Who’s this “we” that demands equality? Who’s this “we” that demands the place of men and the rearrangement of that place to accommodate the feelings and inclinations of rebellious femininity?

      Get out, woman!

      Woman is already Man’s equal in value in Christ. Woman’s role is already equal to that of Man’s in Christ. You’re seriously confused. You’re deceived. You’ve simply devalued your first estate, and men no longer honor you. You confound the natural order of things with oppression as you perceive men’s rising contempt for you with benighted insecurity.

      Your role is to respect and obey the ecumenical and familial authority appointed by God in your life, and as a wife, your role is to make a home for your husband and your children, as your husband cherishes, protects and provides with his very life. You are a usurper of the authority and the role vested in redeemed Adam by nature and nature’s God. Virtuous women in Christ do not demand equality in authority. Only silly, selfish women demand equality in authority, and only sissies tolerate that spirit of Jezebel in women.

      Get your shuck and jive out of the church, woman!

      Your life is not your own in Christ. Your choice is either obedience in Christ or it’s the stuff of hellish rebellion. You don’t love Jesus. You don’t obey Jesus.

      “People wonder how anyone would want to be associated with Christianity” because of the behavior of the moronic heretics of the Westboro Baptist Church?

      LOL!

      People wonder how anyone would want to be associated with Christianity because believers like me, just like Christ, denounce abortion on demand, sexual depravity and fornication.

      The word of God is not in you. People reject Christ because they hold the truth in unrighteousness. They reject Christ because they love their sin and themselves more than they love God and their neighbor. Indeed, they are full of hatred and rebellion, and their excuses are rank hypocrisy.

      That’s why they reject Christ and for no other reason. The rest is whitewash.

      You’re exhibit A as to why redeemed Adam is to lead in the church, in the family and in government, and why redeemed Eve is to submit to his authority in all things as unto Christ (New Testament). No feminism there. Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her earthy lord (Old Testament). No feminism there.

      Eve was made from Adam for Adam. She’s the helpmate.

      See how that works, i.e., that brutally uncompromising, rational absolutism of the masculine intellect that possesses and commands? Eve’s glorious task is to raise the babies, to tenderly and patiently exhort according to her husband’s instructions as he submits to the authority of Christ. Eve’s glorious role is to love, nurture, and encourage.

      Eve loosed from that authority is a lunatic who spouts the lies and the excuses of this fallen world.

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  2. Hello K. Q. Happy New Year! I am away at work, but I came across a newspaper article a couple weeks ago about women that were pushing their daughters to join the BOY Scouts!!! That got my attention, and made me wonder…What is wrong with girls today, that they now want to join the Boy Scouts???
    We sure are a sick society!
    Of course, the mothers in the article said they were single mothers, but this is getting ridiculous! What will women want to do next that is masculine?
    The article didn’t say anything about the single “mothers” being feminists, but it sure would not surprise me if they are…..When will it end?

    Liked by 1 person

    • If they are single-mothers, they are feminists because they are either divorced or never married, which means they are not true Christians. I’ve never understood why the Protestant churches began to permit divorce. It is directly against the Bible’s directives and has resulted in untold misery for the victim families, especially the children. The Boy Scouts brought this upon themselves when they chose to allow homosexuals into the organization despite their having won the court case to keep it a faith-based, all male organization. This retreat, undertaken by the non-Christians on its Board, just brought all of their “enemies” out of the woodwork. The fact that these women are pushing their daughters to join the BOY Scouts tells you they are definitely feminists. These twisted, non-Christian females are ALWAYS seeking to interfere with time-honored men’s institutions, for no other reason, then that they can. Troublemakers, one and all!

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s not all of Protestantism. My fellowship holds to the biblical imperative that marriage is a sacrament. A pox on these apostate denominations. The Church of Christ is God’s people. I wasn’t aware that woman were trying to push their daughters into the Boy Scouts. Insanity! But it’s no surprise.

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  3. I am not trying to stir up controversy but rather read your sources on this particular topic. What/Where are the sources or statistics that working/feminist mothers snap more at their children? I would like to read these statistics as if they are true (and this piece is more than just a matter of a opinion if feminist-working mothers snap at their children more) please point me to it. I’m always interested in learning more on the subject.

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    • Statistics, on any topic, are very difficult to assess for accuracy and statistics about young mothers who have chosen to work full-time, rather than care for their children full-time, are even harder to decipher because nearly everything written about them is spun, by other members of the “sisterhood”, to appear to be ideal.
      My conclusion, that working mothers (who are short of time, must stick to strict schedules and are under intense pressure to satisfy the demands at work AND at home) are experiencing difficulty maintaining their calm with their children is based on the fact that all of those outside pressures create a toxic cocktail of frustration, annoyance and impatience. And since saints are few and far between, everything points to their releasing their aggravation on the easiest target, their children.
      In addition, since one of the few negative subjects, connected with working mothers/feminists (that has risen to the fore despite the objections of the sisterhood) is working mother’s chronic and high levels of stress. This topic is routinely written about in the deceptive light of courageousness, rather than blame the problem on feminism’s demands that women become “Superwomen.” And, the feminist authors always skirt around the fact that female stress levels have risen, right along side the rise of “career-oriented” radical, second-wave feminism. It is within these articles that working women’s impatience with their “uncooperative” children comes to light, confirming my conclusions. I assume you are not a working mother, or you would not have asked for statistics on this topic, because you would be living proof that my conclusions are correct. Thank you for your comment.

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      • I am actually a working mother; I just was looking for statistics to compare with your post. Your writing is interesting because it could be read as opinion or fact. (I am one to be rather patient with my child; I was just wondering if I was lumped into a category based on opinion or fact.) So I wanted to kind of get a glimpse into where you had done your research. I’m always interested in finding new statistics, studies, etc. But as your post is opinion, it much more clear. Thank you so much for letting me know.

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      • Glad to hear that you are patient with your children. That was the whole point of my post. You are to be commended for working full-time and remaining patient with your babes. On another topic, I’m curious, considering the title of your blog, how you reconcile being a Christian and a feminist? I believe they are diametrically opposed to each other. In my post, “10+ Tenets of Christianity vs. 10+ Ideals of Radical Feminism”, I address this conundrum. I’d be interested to hear your reasoning?

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