This “princess” syndrome is a direct outcome of nearly 50 years of brainwashing by non-Christian, lesbian-led, radical, second and third-wave feminist leaders, both in the media and in academia. These misguided snake oil saleswomen have influenced millions of young women to foolishly substitute the ideology of radical feminism for the tenets of their Christian faith, leaving millions of Sarahs, confused about the sad outcomes of their “superwomen” lives. After reading this article please read my post, “Short Essay – Radical Feminism’s True Legacy – Being Single, Sidelined and 60 Sucks” for more evidence that living a “feminist lifestyle” will ruin a woman’s life.
In 2012 ,I was invited to be a member of a panel at a Christian singles conference. After speaking about living a purposeful life, and remaining pure in singleness, the topic of marriage invariably came up. A woman stood up and started pouring out her heart about how she desired a husband. How she was in her late thirties and did not want to be alone anymore. She said that she was on the verge of ‘settling’!
In an attempt to comfort her, an older woman whom we will call Sarah stood up and proclaimed that she was single at 60 AND had never married. Sarah started to encourage the younger lady. She said, look at me, I am 60 and not married but I will not settle. I want what God wants for me and will not settle for less. I have had many counterfeit men come into my…
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It's the Women, Not the Men! 
Of course a man must provide for his family: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5;8). But at the same time, it is not an excuse to love money as so many Christians use as an excuse. Really, I’ve have heard that verse used as an excuse to love mammon, and to try and serve both God and mammon as the same time, that which Jesus said you cannot do.
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Aloha KQ,
I have 25 y/o and 22 y/o sons that are virgins, saving their purity for their future wives, whoever or wherever she may be! I have done my best to teach them the value of Biblical Purity. My father never said anything like that to me, so I lost my virginity at 18. Anyway, I keep on praying for Godly Christian women for my sons to marry, AND for God to prepare my sons to be the Husband that God calls them to be,
I know that makes them “oddballs” in society, but that is not their loss, it is their wife’s gain
Oh, did you hear on the news last week that Oregon’s Governor just signed a law making it mandatory for insurance companies to pay for abortions, at any time and for any reason? Another nail in our coffin……
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Your sons are inspirations, not “oddballs”! I wrote a post about just such a young man from England. “Good Guys – Handsome Phin Lyman, 18 – Becomes Global Sensation Because He is Still a Virgin.” They are not alone in their efforts to defend their future marriages and wives from debauchery. Sounds like you’re doing an excellent job of keeping your son’s priorities in order.👍 You obviously love them very much, as I’m sure they do you.
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THANK YOU KQ!!! I am 56 , single and despite my old adamant claims of contentment, I was full of crap. This is great, clear, simple wisdom. besides having a worshiper is annoying, devoid of purpose, and self depriving. Who the hell do these women think they are? Worshipping self and having others do for you is the most un-fullfillng exsistence there could possibly be. None of is either devine or entitled, and by the way only we can feed our souls through our relationship with God, he doesn’t follow hearsay!
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Very true!
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Hi Mrs Duane
I could be wrong, but I have the impression from your website that you think singleness is some kind of curse, and that a person, whether man or woman must marry to have a fulfilling life.
I would like to humbly submit to you that the Bible makes it clear that marriage is not a must for a Christian, whether man or woman. The Bible makes it clear that it is God’s will that some be unmarried, so that they can devote themselves fully to Him in building the Kingdom of God, not to pursue an earthly career-oriented, achievement-focused life, of course.
1 Corinthians 7:29-35 says:
What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
What it is saying is that the Christian man or woman’s hopes should be set on God, not marriage which is temporal. The unmarried person can focus much more than the married person on how he or she can please God.
The Bible also says that a man who marries a virgin does well, but one who can remain unmarried does better: So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c] (1 Corinthians 7:38).
Furthermore, there were many people whose names were mentioned in the Bible who were single, including Paul and Barnabas. They lived a fulfilling life.
So, I would like to finally submit to you that marriage is not God’s will for every Christian, and that godly singleness where it is for God’s will has no downsides, just like how godly marriage has no downsides. Financially, God provides. Does He not care for the widows who was once married, but no longer married? I believe that widows become needy shows how temporal marriage is.
I say this because it seems many Christians today think that marriage is a must, and that it is by marriage one finds fulfillment. This is idolatry, albeit a subtle form, which takes what is God’s institution, and perverts it into a competition as to marriagebility, and a status to stir up unmarried people feel inferior, unfulfilled, discontented, wrong or ‘not godly’ enough to be ‘blessed’.
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I certainly don’t think singleness is a “curse.” I may be giving that impression because I am SO strongly in favor of a Christian marriage for young women because of the happiness and joy women reap from a loving husband, children of their own and the comfort and security provided by a family home. The reason I rarely applaud singleness is because it has been hijacked by radical, second and third-wave feminism. As a result, singleness is now identified through the debauched ideology of sexual liberation, abortion, explicit sexuality, divorce, promiscuity, selfishness and arrogance. So, I prefer to encourage young women to safely and happily marry, rather than encourage singleness, for fear that the overpowering secular temptations and the rabid feminist culture will overwhelm these very young naive women. But, I am not opposed to singleness. It can provide a fulfilling life, as long as the young woman does not abandon her Christian faith. In fact, having said that, there is one form of singleness which I wholeheartedly support and that is the religious life. I sincerely believe that if more young woman took the time to truly LISTEN to God, they would find that He is giving them a vocation to the religious life. But, unfortunately, the hectic busyness and secular distractions of today’s world rarely allow for that type of introspection, contemplation and personal reflection.
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Hi Mrs Duane
While I understand and respect your motives in pushing Christian marriage, I think there is always a catch whenever anything is being pushed without making clear any qualifications, and become unhelpful.
I am pushing for neither. I think it is all a matter of God’s will. I also think that joy comes from God, not a husband, children or family home. The idea of comfort and security from a family home really is one that I cannot accept as Jesus said that we are the seek first the Kingdom of God, and all earthly needs will be provided (Matthew 6:24-34). To have one’s mind set on security from any earthly possession is to not trust God, but trust in mammon.
At the same time, I agree with the position that it is God’s default position that Christians marry. Remaining unmarried an an exception as Larry Solomon rightly, I think, says on his blog. Remaining unmarried is not to be for the purpose of self-centred earthly pursuits, or avoiding the responsibilities of marriage because one does not want to fulfill such responsibilities out of rebellion against God.
However, having said that, many young people, including many young Christians are marrying young, only to enjoy a sexual relationship, but not have children. I think many people will regret this when the time comes, but that is not the point here. The point here is their despicable selfishness is wanting to marry only for ‘romance’, and not to fulfill the covenant firstly to God, and secondly to each other. I frankly find the idea of marrying for sex, and not wanting to have children absolutely disgusting and repulsive. It is unnatural.
I also think that the focus on women’s happiness in marriage, by both secular society and the Church in the west is totally objectionable. Marriage is for the santification of persons. Happiness only follows holiness and righteousness. This focus has led to the distorted belief that a husband is to love his wife unconditionally, compromising with her even to satisfy her unbiblical sinful ways. This belief coupled with a wife’s ‘conditional’ submission has led to elevate the woman as leader of the household, which as you know lead to nothing but absolute disaster for not just men and children, but the whole church and society.
I think that many wives today, including many Christian wives do NOT deserve any happiness from having a loving husband, children who care for her, and a family home. This may sound harsh, but it is because they are rebellion, unsubmissive, proud, evil, domineering and manipulative that they do not deserve any good. That is why I am glad that many women are not happy in their marriages, because they do not deserve it. How could you support the happiness of a wife who is full of sin, and causes nothing but suffering and shame to her husband, and pain to her children?
A husband is to love his wife, not unconditionally, but for her sanctification. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:25-27). Many quote only verse 25, but cut out verses 26 to 27.
His love is not the type of modern dating romantic ‘love’ to give her all kinds of earthly gifts, which will rot like silver and dust. His love is to be that which seeks to lead her in Christ for her holiness and righteousness. That is why a husband must be more spiritually, as well as emotionally and psychologically mature than his wife, in my view.
Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts.
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I agree with your assessment of today’s self-serving, “all-about-me” feminist “marriages”. Selfishness never leads to goodness or joy. It actually condemns people to a life defined by disappointment, unhappiness, and especially, by unsatisfactory relationships. I’m always amazed that men continue to marry these types of selfish women. They are so troublesome and difficult to satisfy. On another note, I have to say that I was very surprised at your aversion to promoting family values through the advancement of husband, children and home. They are the very essence of Christianity’s continued success. Without encouraging people to form Christian family units, through which Christianity is transferred from one generation to the next, Christianity will cease to exist. The Church can only guide, instruct and advise humanity on the faith. The Christian family, on the other hand is the implementer of the faith. It is the only entity that can implement and perpetuate the faith for the future. That’s why I feel that the Christian family unit is of absolute and critical importance to the future of the faith and to pretend otherwise is dangerous and dishonest. Simply put, without the Christian family unit, and the values it advances, Christianity will die.
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Hi Mrs Duane
I may come across as adverse to promotion of family values through having a husband and children but I am not. What I am trying to get at is that unfortunately, many young Christians I have seen are getting married, not for children, but for sexual relationships. There are cases where the professing Christian woman still works despite having a young child. So, what I am trying to get at and am concerned about is how twisted the promotion of family values by professing Christians has become, with marriage being for enjoying sex, and children being secondary. Trust me, I have seen professing Christian websites where the emphasis is on enjoying sex, and people, usually women, brag about their sex lives, all under the guise of being “thankful”.
So, my view about how family values should be promoted is this:
Man, not woman, leaves his father and mother, to become one flesh with his wife.
They have children.
Wife focuses on household matters, and does not make decisions. The husband is the one who leads his family, who are under his authority.
The wife is not to think of herself as one who is entitled to have her husband “make her happy”, as so many Christian wives think. I am just sick of women who think that.
The husband is to provide and protect his family, and exercise authority over them. This does not at all mean to give them their wants, but only their needs. So many spoilt women and also children think that their husband or father needs to given them whatever they want, which is just such as despicable belief.
Trust in God to provide all your needs. Do not get into debt, for it is a trap.
Hope you understand what I mean.
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Aha! That sounds better. And, I totally agree with your Christian standards of behavior for a married couple. It’s really the ONLY way to have a successful marriage. Somebody HAS to make the final decisions! So, why not the husband? Especially since God designed him specifically for that role. He may not always get everything right but at least his heart was in the right place while he tries to make his family happy, safe and comfortable.
It’s very interesting – the selfish, materialistic “wives” you describe are what were called JAPS (Jewish American Princesses) in the 1960s in America. I’d never heard about them before the Jewish comedians told the world about them. What started as cynical jokes about their spoiled daughter’s obnoxious behavior, finally became a reality for millions of radical, second-wave feminists who abandoned their Christian faith while adopting the behavior of JAPS for themselves while pursuing a “career.” This was part of the young baby boomers efforts to redefine themselves as “career” women rather than as Christian wives and mothers. It’s very disturbing to realize that the sick priorities of those 1960s nasty, arrogant, rude, selfish, materialistic, smiling, superficial creatures’s behavior is still advancing around the world entrapping another generation of young women who were spared this destructive behavior for more than 50 years. When will it stop? It will NEVER stop if young men keep buying into this pointless, SELFISH, frivolous existence. Just as I’ve said MANY times before, its time for strong Christian men to instead, stand up to these SHALLOW women and say, ENOUGH!
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I should probably also make clear that I am for the advancement of Christian family, This means to have children, and instill them in the faith in Christ. This means there is to be no ‘careerism’ by either parent, especially the mother, and even also the father, as careerism is an achievement-oriented way. There is also to be no hedonism and elevation of romantic love above children’s need to grow in the faith, or the faith of either spouse.
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I agree. But the father should advance himself at work in order to keep his family out of the slums. God did not intend that Christian children should be living in fear for their safety or their next meal. And yes. The men who embraced the Protestant Work Ethic have blessed their families, and by association, humanity with much more than they needed themselves. The Christian father is where charity begins. He defines charity since nearly everything he does is for the benefit of others, first and foremost. Aren’t God’s men WONDERFUL?
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